Lessons Learned as a Wife

We've been married almost eight years so we have passed the proverbial seven year itch. However, I must say that I myself usually got the itch to leave about once a year. Usually due to a nuclear catastrophe that seems to appear yearly in our marriage. However, I remember the things that I learned and stay in for the fight. This is what I have learned:

Husbands don't change their spots. When we were dating my husband had the same flaws that he has now. I chose to ignore them or thought that I could fix them. The flaws are a part of who he is so I just pray about whatever it is that he is doing that I find annoying. I can even pray out loud for the world to hear if I want to.

I am not perfect. I also have my flaws and imperfections. I didn't marry a "yes dear". I married a person and when my ugly shortcomings arise, I hope he prays for me. I have to remember that I am only one person and I cannot do it all or have it all.

When I said I do, it was a Commitment. I made a commitment for better or worse, sickness and in health. This also includes patience, understanding and kindness which I seem to run short of during times of getting ready for work and putting kids to bed. So when my husband disappoints me or hurts my feelings, I will be there for the long haul by forgiving him. True forgiveness never brings it up again and moves on. You don't forget it, you just ignore it.

Just because your married, it doesn't mean the pursuit stops. We have a monthly date night. During the date night, we don't discuss work or children. We actually try to stay connected as a couple so when the kids grow up, I won't wake up and say, Hello. Who are YOU??. Keep talking and its ok to have different opinions and a good debate.

Sex shouldn't be a reward. It should be about romance. Sex should never be about winning a bet. When it becomes a type of reward, it removes the wanting to over to the "have to" side of life. Sex should always stay in the want column.

Its o.k. to have a girls night out or a guys night out. Its important to stay connected to your friends and to have fun with them. Friends should be yours, mine and ours. Trust is what keeps you together and your friends keep you grounded. My friends knew me before I was a mom so they remind me of who I was when I get too judgemental of others.

Most of all, Love should be patient, kind, and understanding especially when you're blogging and you are interrupted by your loving husband who wants to talk about the football game with all the trimmings. Just smile and say that's great. I'm glad you had a good time.

In the eight years that we've been married this is what I have learned. I hope to learn more but more especially, I hope to beat the odds and be married to one guy for hundred years.

Have a great night.

Beamer 319